What A Night For A Dance, You Know I'm A Dancing Machine

I talked a little about the book 'Jesus For President' a month or so ago. I didn't actually start reading it then, as I went with 'Fields of Fire,' but I got into 'JFP' as soon as 'Fields' was complete. In any event, let me say that 'Jesus For President' is a must-read. It has made me think about my faith and what I've held to be true for my whole life in ways I've never considered. It points out in a very clear way how the Church and Christians in general have gone so far off course from what Jesus had in mind for us 2000 years ago. It is also particularly damning of this country, and the negative influence it has had on the world during it's near-empirical reign over the last half-century. While you may not agree with everything in JFP, it will, at the very least, make you think about your beliefs and why you feel that way. Highest of high recommendations.

In a completely unrelated note, my blogging has (obviously) slowed down a lot recently. Unfortunately, school-which started, for the last time in my life, two days ago-is shaping up to be pretty hectic. It's my last semester of classes, so things will be coming down pretty hard in the next three months. All that said, I don't know how much I'll be updating JAT. As hard as that is for you to swallow, hang in there, it will get better.

Who Needs Avenues, Who Needs Reservoirs

I’ve mentioned a few times how much I enjoy analyzing and ranking sports uniforms. It’s one of the small joys I get in being a sports fan, especially when I’m watching a contest involving two teams I don’t particularly care for one way or another. That being said, there was a time when it was very difficult to appreciate uniforms because there were so many bad ones. The time I speak of is the mid-to-late 1990’s. I don’t know how this thought hit me, but it did. There was an obscene abundance of terrible threads making the rounds, especially in the MLB and NBA. You want proof you say? I’ll give you proof. Here are a few examples of what some teams thought were good ideas.

This is actually the better look for the Pistons in the 1990's. Their short-lived alternate was a weird maroonish-brown with the same logo. Not good times in Motown.
It's a little hard to see in this picture, but the Toronto Raptors had a cartoon dinosaur dribbling a basketball and wearing a jersey, shorts, and sneakers. There were also about five very spread apart pinstripes that served no purpose other than making the Raptors looks ridiculous. Mission accomplished.

The Cavs waited for the LeBron era to unveil decent uniforms, and it was not a moment too soon.

There was a disturbing trend in the late 90's for teams to go to teal. The Vancouver/Memphis Grizzlies kick off the teal with...this. No wonder they didn't set Canada on fire for basketball.

Here the Charlotte/New Orleans Hornets to their best to look like like an NBDL team. Teal? Check. Purple? Check. Wide-set pinstripes? Check.

Whats is this? Really. What?

The Rockets took a page out of the Raptors playbook (or was it the other way around?) and went with a cartoon logo, and stupid pinstripes. Not coincidentally, the Rockets have escaped the first round of the playoffs once since abandoning the classic uniforms they won two championships in.

Don't worry, we'll see this color scheme pop up again later. Yep, THREE pro sports franchises thought it would be a good idea to use teal and purple in the 1990's. And what's the deal with the mountains? Really?

And there it is.

So let's see...The Marlins, Diamondbacks, and Grizzlies were all expansion teams in the 90's and all incorporated some form of teal in their uniforms. I'll never understand it.

What an atrocity. Sleeveless jersey, pinstripes, and a made-for-Disney cartoon logo on top of a navy and red color scheme. Who do they think they are, the Rockets? Who's with me? Amirite?

Fortunately, that's all I've got. Let me know if there are any I missed. On the bright side, all of these teams have ditched their looks of ten years ago and have made definite upgrades, so not all is lost. Heck, the Jazz and Grizzlies now look exactly the same, so there's that going for them, I guess. Later days, folks, it's time to get to work.

*UPDATE at 2:54 pm. Thanks to reader Austin Henley for bringing this one up. In one of the all-time awful uniform decisions-not only of the 1990's, but ever- the Tampa Bay 'Devil' Rays make their debut in this:


More bad D-Rays pictures here.
Second Follow Up: While looking for the picture of the clearly juiced-up Canseco (were we really that oblivious?) I came across this post from two years ago at Joe Sports Fan. Seems like someone else picked up on the purple/teal trend.

Unless You Got The Zipper Fixed On My Shoe, I'll Be In The Lobby Drinking For Two

One of my favorite running themes/ideas that Bill 'Sports Guy' Simmons has is his yearbook quotes. This is the premise: He searches for absurd quotes from athletes (and some entertainers) and passes them out to his reading masses for them to use as their high school year book quote. Pretty funny stuff, and 99% of the time are a better bet than what the average 18 year old would choose to put as his/her yearbook quote. He's updated the YBQ on his Twitter page, so if you have one of them, check it out.


All that to say, I think there may be a new leader in the clubhouse for yearbook quote of the year. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Thunder himself, LenDale White.

"I really got to be honest," White said. "It wasn't a lot of major diet changes. (It was) watching what I drink. I was a big Patron consumer. ... That's what it was. I was drinking a lot, drank a lot of alcohol. I cut that out of my diet all the way. I don't drink at all. I cut the drinking, I stopped drinking for six months... It started falling off."



I've already written about the talent that took the field in Pasadena on January 4, 2006, but consider the paths of the four biggest stars in the game: One quarterback had photos of him partying with college girls in a hot tub leaked to the internet and has since taken up MMA training in the offseason to improve his on-field performance, the other quarterback had photos of him partying shirtless with other dudes get leaked as well and has been on suicide watch for one night. The Heisman-winning running back has made more news for being injured and dating (until recently) OJ Simpson's lawyer's daughter. And now, to complete the circle, the other star running back is making news for losing 30 pounds of tequila!

Full Story Here