Alrighty boys and girls, let's run through a quick recap of last night's Holiday Bowl between the Texas Longhorns and Arizona State Sun Devils.
Offensive MVP: Jamaal Charles-One could make an argument for Colt, but Jamaal showed why he was the best running back in the Big XII this year, continuously making big runs and keeping the Devils on their heels. I especially liked his Ladanian Tomlinson ball-flip celebration after his two TD's. Very cool.
Defensive MVP: All of 'em-Really, how can you pick just one? The front four was as dominant as they could be, and the secondary played their best game of the season by a mile. The hitting was exceptional too. I don't think I've seen the Horns that mean and aggressive on defense since their championsip run a couple years ago. Needless to say, it was a welcome development after ther no-show against atm last month. Apparently the ASU quarterback, Rudy Carpenter, was running his mouth all week about how he was gonna light UT up, and this may have sparked a little fire under the butts of the Longhorn defense. I don't know what it was, but it great to see the defense get after someone for once this year.
Biggest Dissapointment: Not really anything to be real critical of about the game, except the fact that this is how we (Horns fans) expected them to play all year. I'm not sure why it took 12 sub-par games, a second consecutive loss to the aggs, and a lackluster offensive season for them to decide, "hey, we're better than this," and play the kind of game they did last night. If they played like that all year, they're BCS bound for sure, and probably playing Ohio State for the championship. Arizona State was easily the second-best team UT played all year (after Oklahoma) and the Horns handled them. There's no way UT loses to atm or K-state, and maybe oklahoma, if they played the way they did against ASU all season. I'll try to look at the bright side and see this game for what will hopefully be a sign of how they'll play next year, and not a sign of what could have been this season.
Now, my thoughts on the play that is on everyone's mind after watching the game last night: The Chris Jessie play. (PS-could we start calling this the red-headed stepchild play? No? Alright, fine) First off, HE DIDN'T TOUCH THE BALL!! I thought I was going to have a heart attack after the refs gave it to ASU on the seven. I know the replay wasn't clear either way, but the trajectory of the ball didn't change, and there is no clear-cut evidence that he did touch it, meaning they shouldn't have overturned the call, which was that Texas recoverd it and returned it out past the 50. My theory is that the refs were making a bit of an examle out of him, since they had already given the UT sideline a warning. They may have thought, "Ehh, he may or may not have touched it, but we've already issued a warning, and there's still like 15 UT players and coaches on the field that don't need to be...screw it, he touched it. ASU ball on the seven yeard line!" Secondly, how relieved is this dude that Texas ended up winning? I know it's not a major bowl or whatever, but if ASU held on to that momentum and won by 7 or less, this Jessie fellow would have to leave the country-or at least Texas-to escape everyone hating him. As it turns out, he's now famous, everyone can laugh at it after the fact, and he'll be a cult hero in Texas football history. For some reason, I feel like he won't have to buy dinner or drinks in Austin for a long time. I have this image of him walking into a restaurant in Austin and acting like Rick James in those Chappelle skits. "I'm Chris Jessie!! You don't know who I am? I'm Chris Jessie!!" And everyone is like "Chris, come sit with us, we already ordered your diner! Chris over here, we saved you a seat!" And yes, maybe I'm rambling.
Well, I reckon that'll be all i have to say about the Horns for another 8 months or so...hahaha you don't know me very well then do you? I'll see ya when I see ya. Hook 'em.
-Twig
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Fantastic Disappointment...
L.T., Joseph Addia, Terrell Owens. Defeated by Kurt Warner, Brandon Jacobs, Deion Branch, and then to have the opposing owner call you to rub it in how he out foxed you in the semi final round of your fantasy playoffs. I am still not ok. Right now, I am somewhere between The Facial and The Deleveler. Going into the playoffs, I was the number 1 seed, with an 11-3 record, and now, for the second year in a row, I am going home a game short of the championship after steam rolling the competition all season long.
So, my questions is, where do I go from here? It doesn't seem like the right thing to do is right an entire blog post about my opponent, just to make me feel better... but being the bigger man is rarely the option most appealing to me, so here it goes....
I take comfort in the fact that we are in a Keeper League. If you dont know, that means, at the end of each season you can elect a certain number of players to remain on your team for next year. You build a team throughout, instead of drafting from a clean plate each year, and I just signed L.T. to a life time contract. So, H Town Heros, you might win our league this year, you might just be the champ, so we can I say to you, finishing at best 3rd place? Well, I take the stance of my boy, Tim Kurkjian. T.K. knows Barry Bonds is going to the HOF, one way or another, its true. Since he cant stop that, the alternative is attaching a story to the person, so that everyone knows, that yes, he is in the HOF, but he was some kind of cheater, and a crappy person at that. We all know that story and it is sure to follow him for as long as his name is mentioned. So, I thought I might do the same thing:
H Town Heros:
-Did you see the Colorado Rockies win like 50 games in a row this year to get into the World Series, I did. Most people called that one of the most amazing end of year, playoff runs in the history of baseball. I called it luck. Someone tell Holiday he hasn't touched the plate yet. It's similar to your run through our playoffs. Lucky.
-Remember when you drafted a bunch of Raiders and Cardinals because they have good offenses, that was dumb. Save this link, because next, that free advice that I so willingly gave, such as, "Dude, seriously, Lamont Jordan can not be your #1 running back", wont be there.
-If you win the championship, and I mean if, you will be remember like the Tampa Bay Lighting when they won the cup in 2004. I'm talking about hockey and the Stanley Cup, there, I second my point. Suppose you don't win, that just means you will have the second to last pick in the draft with nothing to show for it. Yes you can use you keeper tag for A.D., your boy, but who are you going to put the second one.... Kurt Warner, I dare you, the Patriots defense, I hope, maybe you can just ask people to lend you players again for one week, thats tight.
- May you be remembered along side the great Boston Pilgrims of 1903, hailed so often as the team who, well, who are they, what sport did they play, exactly.
Maybe I'm overreacting, suppose I am. Blame that on my competitive streak. Suppose congrats is in order and I am being selfish. Well, just in case, congrats, but at the end of the day, I can lay my head down at night and get a good nights sleep cause I don't have any cats, and you have 2.
-jig
So, my questions is, where do I go from here? It doesn't seem like the right thing to do is right an entire blog post about my opponent, just to make me feel better... but being the bigger man is rarely the option most appealing to me, so here it goes....
I take comfort in the fact that we are in a Keeper League. If you dont know, that means, at the end of each season you can elect a certain number of players to remain on your team for next year. You build a team throughout, instead of drafting from a clean plate each year, and I just signed L.T. to a life time contract. So, H Town Heros, you might win our league this year, you might just be the champ, so we can I say to you, finishing at best 3rd place? Well, I take the stance of my boy, Tim Kurkjian. T.K. knows Barry Bonds is going to the HOF, one way or another, its true. Since he cant stop that, the alternative is attaching a story to the person, so that everyone knows, that yes, he is in the HOF, but he was some kind of cheater, and a crappy person at that. We all know that story and it is sure to follow him for as long as his name is mentioned. So, I thought I might do the same thing:
H Town Heros:
-Did you see the Colorado Rockies win like 50 games in a row this year to get into the World Series, I did. Most people called that one of the most amazing end of year, playoff runs in the history of baseball. I called it luck. Someone tell Holiday he hasn't touched the plate yet. It's similar to your run through our playoffs. Lucky.
-Remember when you drafted a bunch of Raiders and Cardinals because they have good offenses, that was dumb. Save this link, because next, that free advice that I so willingly gave, such as, "Dude, seriously, Lamont Jordan can not be your #1 running back", wont be there.
-If you win the championship, and I mean if, you will be remember like the Tampa Bay Lighting when they won the cup in 2004. I'm talking about hockey and the Stanley Cup, there, I second my point. Suppose you don't win, that just means you will have the second to last pick in the draft with nothing to show for it. Yes you can use you keeper tag for A.D., your boy, but who are you going to put the second one.... Kurt Warner, I dare you, the Patriots defense, I hope, maybe you can just ask people to lend you players again for one week, thats tight.
- May you be remembered along side the great Boston Pilgrims of 1903, hailed so often as the team who, well, who are they, what sport did they play, exactly.
Maybe I'm overreacting, suppose I am. Blame that on my competitive streak. Suppose congrats is in order and I am being selfish. Well, just in case, congrats, but at the end of the day, I can lay my head down at night and get a good nights sleep cause I don't have any cats, and you have 2.
-jig
Sunday, December 23, 2007
The Worst of the Worst
And now, for the final four worse uniforms in all of college football: 
3) Oregon State Beavers: Who designed these things, Brandi Chastain? (ba-dum-cha! Thank you thank you, I'll be here all night!) Don't get it? They look like a sports bra. The sad thing is, these aren't even the worst unis in the fine state of Oregon.
Ahh, Brandi. First she ispired young girls to take up soccer. Now she inspires college athletes to dress like young girls taking up soccer.
2) Syracuse Orangemen: Let's see, our mascot is the 'Orangemen,' whatever that is, hmm...how's bout we put lots of random navy strips on our uniforms, and change the pants/jersey combo every week. That'll catch on right? Right?
1) Oregon Ducks: Really, was there any other choice? Not a lot to comment about, so I'll just put up this disturbing collage of the Ducks in action. Don't adjust your monitor, these are the actual colors they wear. I promise.
Is it a blessing or a curse that the founder of Nike is a UO alum. I'm going with the latter.
4) West Virginia Mountaineers (Mustard Yellow edition): Look, navy blue and yellow is a good combo, but if it ain't broke, don't break it. WVU broke a good thing when they decided to wear these hideous creations that only Nike could conjure up. It's no coincidence that they botched a chance at a national championship when they wore these on the last game of the season and lost to Pittsburgh. Don't look good, don't play good.
3) Oregon State Beavers: Who designed these things, Brandi Chastain? (ba-dum-cha! Thank you thank you, I'll be here all night!) Don't get it? They look like a sports bra. The sad thing is, these aren't even the worst unis in the fine state of Oregon.
Ahh, Brandi. First she ispired young girls to take up soccer. Now she inspires college athletes to dress like young girls taking up soccer.
2) Syracuse Orangemen: Let's see, our mascot is the 'Orangemen,' whatever that is, hmm...how's bout we put lots of random navy strips on our uniforms, and change the pants/jersey combo every week. That'll catch on right? Right?
1) Oregon Ducks: Really, was there any other choice? Not a lot to comment about, so I'll just put up this disturbing collage of the Ducks in action. Don't adjust your monitor, these are the actual colors they wear. I promise.
Is it a blessing or a curse that the founder of Nike is a UO alum. I'm going with the latter.
*Also receiving votes: Central Florida, Wyoming, Texas A&M (As my dad says, "There's just no way to make maroon look good."), South Florida, Rice, Lousiville, UConn.
Well, that's all folks, hope y'all enjoyed my version of the best and worst uniforms that college football has to offer, as seen by me. I may have eternally damaged my relationship with my father-in-law, a native of the Buckeye state, for including Michigan on the best list and Ohio State on the worst list, but hey, I reckon it's a risk you've gotta take in this cut-throat bloggosphere world. Feel free to chime in with any opinions on who I may have left off, I'm sure there are many deserving unis that should be reckognized for being awful.
Merry Christmas Eve-Eve,
Twig
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I can't do this all on my own
One of my favorite TV shows is "Scrubs," on NBC. I've loyally watched it since its debut in 2001, and this summer, I bought all six seasons on DVD. It's been revealed that this will be Scrubs' seventh and final season, but with the writer strike, the season may not even get completed. I've read where 12 of the 18 episodes have been filmed, but the final six are still in limbo. It's been rumored that the final six may not ever be filmed, and if they are, the only way to see them is to buy the DVD, as they may get filmed too late to be seen on TV. For someone who's literally seen ever episode, this is the worst possible senario. In all honesty, they probably shoulda wrapped things up at the end of season six, but Bill Lawrence (the exec producer) wanted to keep things going for one more year, but it was unclear if NBC would pick it up again. Anyway, rumor has it that ABC told Lawrence to go ahead with season seven, because if NBC didn't pick it up, ABC would. Well, NBC did pick it up, right on time to air about four episodes before the strik began. Apparently, on January 24, they're gonna start showing the rest of the already filmed episodes, but no word on if the final six will make it to TV. Sorry for the rant about something non-sports related, I've included a link from last month that includes a couple statements from Lawrence about his feelings on the unfortunate ending of his brainchild, Scrubs.
-twig
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i00627c6566fe8f5fb5d3286a361b70cc
-twig
http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i00627c6566fe8f5fb5d3286a361b70cc
The not-top 10 College Football Uniforms-As Seen By the Twig
A'ight fools, last week I gave y'all my ten or so favorite uniforms of college football. Today, I'll begin my list of my ten or so least favorite unis. Again, this list is totally subjective to me and my personal opinions. If you disagree, well, cry me a river. On to the picks, in order of not as bad, to 'da worst. (If you don't think Oregon won't be number one, you're crazy)
7) Tennessee Volunteers (SEC Championship edition): Usually, I don't have a problem with the Vols look, but come on, if you're gonna call yourself "UT" at least dress yourself with the lights on.
6) Florida Atlantic Owls: Equipment manager:"So, how many stipes should we put on our uniforms?" Trainer: "I dunno, enough to hopefully hypnotize the fans, so the won't actually be watching the game." On the other hand, if there weren't 79 bowl games, I would have no idea what FAU's unis look like. Thank you very much, insighttoiletbowl2000.com bowl!!
10) Ohio State Buckeyes: I know I'll get raked over the coals for this one, and honestly, I'm getting really picky on a reason not to like them. Truth is, i LOVE the color scheme, love the plain silver helmets, like the over-size jersey number, and sorta like the helmet decals. The one (very) minor qualm I have with them is the sleeve striping. They changed in 2006 to two small white stripes that are outlined in black. It's minor, yes, and quite picky, but I really really liked the ones pre-'06, where the rocked the thick, triple-silver strip on the sleeve. In fact, had they never changed, they'd find themselves near the top of the favorites list. It's the little things, people.
Current-Booo!
Pre '06-Yeeaaaaah!
9) Miami Hurricanes: Another one that, if it were 2002, I would have put them on the favorite list. However, the U has changed unis about every two years for the past decade, so it's hard to keep up with what they're wearing. My biggest hold-up (get it, 'hold-up'-it's Miami football?!?!) is the half lines that don't quite meet in the back. They've taken the names off the jerseys-good move-but on tv the lines almost look like names, but not quite. Just a confusing, bad jersey design. PS- I love that they haven't changed the helmets. Classic, plain, and very original.
The orange can also be worn for community service.
8) South Carolina Gamecocks: Red and black go together beautifully. Maroon and black do not. Are you reading this, Stanford?
7) Tennessee Volunteers (SEC Championship edition): Usually, I don't have a problem with the Vols look, but come on, if you're gonna call yourself "UT" at least dress yourself with the lights on.
6) Florida Atlantic Owls: Equipment manager:"So, how many stipes should we put on our uniforms?" Trainer: "I dunno, enough to hopefully hypnotize the fans, so the won't actually be watching the game." On the other hand, if there weren't 79 bowl games, I would have no idea what FAU's unis look like. Thank you very much, insighttoiletbowl2000.com bowl!!
"If I stand real still, maybe he won't see me."
5) Clemson: I've got no probs with their orange jersey/white pants look, but, like Tennesee, the all orange has got to go.
"Your uniforms are worse, no yours are worse, no..."
Hope you enjoyed, I'll put up my most least favs tomorrow. Or Monday, who knows.
Peace and Happiness,
Twig
Monday, December 17, 2007
Dressed for Success Follow-up
Let's get down to biznizz...the top five college football uniforms (according to me)
5) ACU Wildcats: Am I a homer for putting them in the top five? Maybe, but again, it's my list, tough biscuts. Regardless, I'm a big fan of the purple-on-black theme (and yes, i also like TCU's unis). Now if we could only figure out how to protect a 29 point lead in the fourth quarter...
"I look a lot cooler than I did at Tulane."
5b) Hawaii Warriors: I couldn't decide who to take off if i included the fighting Brennan's, so what the hey, I'll make my top ten a top eleven. No matter if it's the home blacks or the road silver and white, the Warriors look sharp, especially with the tribal lei thingy on the thigh.
"I can't wait to go pro, these Samoan's be drivin me craaazzzy."
4) Florida State Seminoles: Their performance may have dropped a bit since making three straight bcs championship games from 1998-2000, but at least they look good doing it.
"OOOOOOOOOO-OOO-OOOO-OOOOOOOO. OOOOOOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOOOO."
3) LSU Tigers: Great team, great fans, great home field, great unis. I'm really a fan of how unique the color scheme is. Quick, name another D-1 team that rocks the yellow and purple. Tick, tock...can't do it? Me either, and although I'm sure there are some out there, when you see purple and yellow, you know the Bayou Bengals are in town. Plus extra bonus points for wearing white at home.
"Dat N'awlins home cooken gun doo ussum good inde foosebawl game Sadduday."
2) Michigan Wolverines: The helmet alone is enough to merit consideration for the list. Not sure if Michigan was the first to wear the design-Princeton began using it in 1998, Southwest Baptist began it in 2002, and Delaware began in 1958-but since 1938, the maize-and-blue has been a staple of football uniforms.
"Hail to the Victors" Indeed. Unless it's Twig's list. Or a home game against the 1-AA champs.
1) Texas Longhorns: I mean, come on...
"'Till Gab-riel blows his hoooorrrrrrrnnnnn!!!"
*Also receiving votes: Florida, Georgia, UCLA, Washington, Iowa, Kentucky.
Well that's that folks. Hope you enjoyed, feel free to wheigh in with any opinions, you probably won't hurt my feelings too much.
One Love,
Twig
5) ACU Wildcats: Am I a homer for putting them in the top five? Maybe, but again, it's my list, tough biscuts. Regardless, I'm a big fan of the purple-on-black theme (and yes, i also like TCU's unis). Now if we could only figure out how to protect a 29 point lead in the fourth quarter...
"I look a lot cooler than I did at Tulane."
5b) Hawaii Warriors: I couldn't decide who to take off if i included the fighting Brennan's, so what the hey, I'll make my top ten a top eleven. No matter if it's the home blacks or the road silver and white, the Warriors look sharp, especially with the tribal lei thingy on the thigh.
"I can't wait to go pro, these Samoan's be drivin me craaazzzy."
4) Florida State Seminoles: Their performance may have dropped a bit since making three straight bcs championship games from 1998-2000, but at least they look good doing it.
"OOOOOOOOOO-OOO-OOOO-OOOOOOOO. OOOOOOOOO-OOOOO-OOOOOOO."
3) LSU Tigers: Great team, great fans, great home field, great unis. I'm really a fan of how unique the color scheme is. Quick, name another D-1 team that rocks the yellow and purple. Tick, tock...can't do it? Me either, and although I'm sure there are some out there, when you see purple and yellow, you know the Bayou Bengals are in town. Plus extra bonus points for wearing white at home.
"Dat N'awlins home cooken gun doo ussum good inde foosebawl game Sadduday."
2) Michigan Wolverines: The helmet alone is enough to merit consideration for the list. Not sure if Michigan was the first to wear the design-Princeton began using it in 1998, Southwest Baptist began it in 2002, and Delaware began in 1958-but since 1938, the maize-and-blue has been a staple of football uniforms.
"Hail to the Victors" Indeed. Unless it's Twig's list. Or a home game against the 1-AA champs.
1) Texas Longhorns: I mean, come on...
"'Till Gab-riel blows his hoooorrrrrrrnnnnn!!!"
*Also receiving votes: Florida, Georgia, UCLA, Washington, Iowa, Kentucky.
Well that's that folks. Hope you enjoyed, feel free to wheigh in with any opinions, you probably won't hurt my feelings too much.
One Love,
Twig
Dressed for Success
One of the things that I really enjoy about watching sports is the uniforms. It's something that most of y'all may not know about me, but ever since I can remember, I've been a big fan of all the colors, and styles, as well as pay attention to the smallest details; for instance, I can even tell you the facemask styles and chinstrap types of most any player I've watched. Freakish, yeah. Unsettling, i know. But still, it's how God made me. NE Wayz, I figured I'd share this little obsession with you, the reading public. This list is completely my own, biased opinion of what I think are the ten coolest uniforms in college football. There is little criteria for making this covetted list, other than me thinking, "Hmm, those unis look pretty sweet," so if you don't agree with me, sorry, make your own list. Also, bonus points are given to old-school, unchanged-through-the-years uniforms. One more thing: this is technically a list of nine teams, because if you don't know who I'm putting number one, we don't know each other very well then, do we?
6) Alabama Crimson Tide: It isn't easy to make maroon/crimson look decent, but the Tide pull it off in a nice, clean, classic way. The numbers on the helmet are a great touch, these babies never go out of style. And yes, I realize I just put Alabama and Auburn in the same list. Sue me..jpg)
"At least we can beat Auburn in the uniform war."
Without further adieu...
10) USC Trojans: I know, I know. I don't like them either, but let's be honest, they've got some of the classic unis in college football. Besides a facemask change (from maroon to gray) and a new sleeve-strip, not much has changed for the men of Troy. On the other hand, as someone once told me, "If Abercromie made football uniforms, they'd look like USC." 'Bout sums it up.
"Moo-nies, moo-nies, moo-nies, moo-nies!!"
9) Notre Dame Fighting Irish: My least favorite team probably in all the land (ya know, after 0-u and atm) but you've gotta admit-nothing on the front, nothing on the back, glistening gold helmet. Classic.
8) Penn State Nittany Lions: See above.
7) Auburn War Eagle Tigers: Also known as the 'Austin Henley Special.' Don't really know what it is, but the navy and orange just look nice. Plus, it's always a good decision to wear all white on the road.
"Bo knows we look good."
6) Alabama Crimson Tide: It isn't easy to make maroon/crimson look decent, but the Tide pull it off in a nice, clean, classic way. The numbers on the helmet are a great touch, these babies never go out of style. And yes, I realize I just put Alabama and Auburn in the same list. Sue me.
.jpg)
"At least we can beat Auburn in the uniform war."
Well that'll do it for now, I'll be back tomorrow with numbers 5 through 2. Peace and love.
Twiggaman
Wha, Wha, What?
Yesterday was a tough sports day for me. From 3:15 to about 6:22, it seemed that I just blacked out. I'm not sure what happened, what I said, or how at the end of it, the Cowboys had lost 6-10. I had a similar feeling that evening from 7:50 to 9:30 when I went to see '' I am Legend". I got me thinking about my different levels of a sports defeat. I know some have done this before, but I dare say, no one has done it as accurately. I must say, this comes from a prompting from the Honorable Scotty J. Thomas, and I am sure that Jordan Gay is going to love that movie. I will start with the most mild and move through the most agonizing.
1. The 50-50:
This isn't a bad beat. Your team isn't good. There actually pretty bad. They were heavy underdogs, however, they didn't lose by much. They actually surprise you with their effort and skill level. It leaves you thinking, "Hey, we can build on that".
2. The Facial:
This is hurts. You have been excited about this game. Probably been talking trash to friends that like your opponent. You do think you will win, however, the teams are likely to be evenly matched. Turns out your team plays with 3 less players, the coach gets ejected, and its over by halftime. The All Out Blow Out. While it's super embarrassing, it does give you a bit more time to heal.
3. The Blackout:
I experienced this yesterday. It seems like you go into an alternate universe for the duration of the game. It's like you can see things before they happen and none of them are good. Even when the game is over, you don't believe what happened. It doesn't sink in till later and then it hurts. This feeling may repeat itself several times before next weekend. Drink lots of water.
4. The Deleveler:
This is the worst kind. It occurs only when your team has played nearly the entire game while being competitive. This lose occurs near the end of the game, possibly the last play in which, a single play is made by the opposition, a play is not made by your team, or a single player changes the outcome of the game, all ending in a defeat for your team. From this, rarely a recovery is made, only a deep scare that is pushed to the very corners of one's sports soul. The effects of The Deleveler can cause a person to become a completely different person. They may act with rash. Anger may reach to levels of rage, or self destruction. They may try and throw a blanket through a wall (i.e. romo's snap). There is no action that can be taken by those in the surrounding area to stop this level of agony.
At any given time, someone can identify with one of these levels, and with that, I wish everyone a 50-50 day.
1. The 50-50:
This isn't a bad beat. Your team isn't good. There actually pretty bad. They were heavy underdogs, however, they didn't lose by much. They actually surprise you with their effort and skill level. It leaves you thinking, "Hey, we can build on that".
2. The Facial:
This is hurts. You have been excited about this game. Probably been talking trash to friends that like your opponent. You do think you will win, however, the teams are likely to be evenly matched. Turns out your team plays with 3 less players, the coach gets ejected, and its over by halftime. The All Out Blow Out. While it's super embarrassing, it does give you a bit more time to heal.
3. The Blackout:
I experienced this yesterday. It seems like you go into an alternate universe for the duration of the game. It's like you can see things before they happen and none of them are good. Even when the game is over, you don't believe what happened. It doesn't sink in till later and then it hurts. This feeling may repeat itself several times before next weekend. Drink lots of water.
4. The Deleveler:
This is the worst kind. It occurs only when your team has played nearly the entire game while being competitive. This lose occurs near the end of the game, possibly the last play in which, a single play is made by the opposition, a play is not made by your team, or a single player changes the outcome of the game, all ending in a defeat for your team. From this, rarely a recovery is made, only a deep scare that is pushed to the very corners of one's sports soul. The effects of The Deleveler can cause a person to become a completely different person. They may act with rash. Anger may reach to levels of rage, or self destruction. They may try and throw a blanket through a wall (i.e. romo's snap). There is no action that can be taken by those in the surrounding area to stop this level of agony.
At any given time, someone can identify with one of these levels, and with that, I wish everyone a 50-50 day.
Friday, December 14, 2007
I'm no Superman
Whilst reading Jig's post yesterday about Backpaddle Ball, I couldn't help but think that a made-up game by the one and only Jig would look something like this. Ladies and gents, with the help of the fine people at Scrubs, I give you...Jiggly Ball
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQYuG3mvg4o&feature=related
Lancer the Romancer
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UQYuG3mvg4o&feature=related
Lancer the Romancer
Thursday, December 13, 2007
The Jiggle Report
It is almost 2:00 in the afternoon and for 55 minutes now, the George Mitchell Report has been available to the world. I did download the pdf file that contained the entire report and was hoping to see a quick 50-70 name list that nailed cheaters to the wall. Instead, I got 409 pages of what looked like recycled material, stating everything we've heard for the last 5 years. In trying to describe how I feel, I can simply say it is put-out. It sounds like the report is delivering very little "new" news, but in a few cases it does sound significant. The Rocket, say it aint so. So, where to go from here, this is where Jig comes in to shine:
1. Major League Baseball should be disbanded immediately. I feel like we should take the stance of the late Nero and let Rome burn. Lets take this chance build up a sport in our own image.
2. Close Cooperstown. It is now a musuem dedicated to the rememberance of what use to be America's Game. It is gone, but not forgotten.
3. In the absence of MLB, the rise of the Major Backpaddle Union, MBU, takes its place. I will now take the next few paragraphs to explain exactly what MBU is:
a. Backpaddle is a game that is similar to baseball, but with a few additions and a few subtractions. It will take everything we love about baseball and remove things that we've had enough of. There will be 12 players on the field that is shaped like a rectangle, no more quarter circles. There is one batter and one advancer on offense at a time, with the other 10 being defenders. The batter tries to hit the Backpaddle Ball with a bat, while the advancer's job is too help the batter move up the field without getting pegged.
b. Advancers will carry an aluminum shield for blocking pegs, while the batter will carry a high powered air gun that shoots nerf like rockets, similar to a upper deck t-shirt launcher.
c. The object of the game on offense is to reach the end of the field without being pegged by the Backpaddle Ball. Every 20 yards there is a Sanctuary Square in which the Batter may not be struck. The Advancer goal is to protect the batter with their shield in any way possible. 11 points are rewarded to anyone who reaches the end.
d. The object on defense is to remove a batter from their feet using the Backpaddle Ball. There is one Deliverer who will advance the ball towards the batter by throwing, rolling, or kicking the Ball in his direction. Striking the batter without the batter hitting the ball is rewarded by 1 point. The batter has 2 attempts to advance the ball from the deliverer.
4. No more innings. There will be 5, 12 minute Slums that will make up a game. The team with the most points at the end of the match is awarded with a win.
I realize that most of you must be really disappointed after reading all of that. Well, thats about how I feel about Baseball. I don't know who to be mad at, or how to fell that for the last 12 years in the sport. The only thing more pathetic is I still pull for the Rangers. I cant even make any recommendations for baseball, but I hope Bud Selig realizes that MLB is just one step above the NHL and may not ever return to the prominence that it once had.
Jig
1. Major League Baseball should be disbanded immediately. I feel like we should take the stance of the late Nero and let Rome burn. Lets take this chance build up a sport in our own image.
2. Close Cooperstown. It is now a musuem dedicated to the rememberance of what use to be America's Game. It is gone, but not forgotten.
3. In the absence of MLB, the rise of the Major Backpaddle Union, MBU, takes its place. I will now take the next few paragraphs to explain exactly what MBU is:
a. Backpaddle is a game that is similar to baseball, but with a few additions and a few subtractions. It will take everything we love about baseball and remove things that we've had enough of. There will be 12 players on the field that is shaped like a rectangle, no more quarter circles. There is one batter and one advancer on offense at a time, with the other 10 being defenders. The batter tries to hit the Backpaddle Ball with a bat, while the advancer's job is too help the batter move up the field without getting pegged.
b. Advancers will carry an aluminum shield for blocking pegs, while the batter will carry a high powered air gun that shoots nerf like rockets, similar to a upper deck t-shirt launcher.
c. The object of the game on offense is to reach the end of the field without being pegged by the Backpaddle Ball. Every 20 yards there is a Sanctuary Square in which the Batter may not be struck. The Advancer goal is to protect the batter with their shield in any way possible. 11 points are rewarded to anyone who reaches the end.
d. The object on defense is to remove a batter from their feet using the Backpaddle Ball. There is one Deliverer who will advance the ball towards the batter by throwing, rolling, or kicking the Ball in his direction. Striking the batter without the batter hitting the ball is rewarded by 1 point. The batter has 2 attempts to advance the ball from the deliverer.
4. No more innings. There will be 5, 12 minute Slums that will make up a game. The team with the most points at the end of the match is awarded with a win.
I realize that most of you must be really disappointed after reading all of that. Well, thats about how I feel about Baseball. I don't know who to be mad at, or how to fell that for the last 12 years in the sport. The only thing more pathetic is I still pull for the Rangers. I cant even make any recommendations for baseball, but I hope Bud Selig realizes that MLB is just one step above the NHL and may not ever return to the prominence that it once had.
Jig
Darn National Media
Now here's a guy who can steal a good idea... http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/cory_mccartney/12/06/heisman.hindsight/index.html See, the whole point of my bringing up the Heisman winners yesterday was to give my opinions on who should have won the award today, as well as to point out the fact that I bought a Rashan Salaam Bears jersey in fifth grade. Well, it looks like this fancy-pants McCartney fellow beat me to the punch. Anyway, read the list, it looks basically like the one I woulda thought of, and feel free to chime in with any other thoughts/opinions.
Twigga
Twigga
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Destiny is calling me, Open up my eager eyes...
Greetings one and all, Twig here. Let me start this portion of greatness with two quick notes: First of all, I'm happy as a lark to be here. I was a semi-frequent contributor at another blog, but it seemed like most of my sports-related talk was over the head of much of the intended audience, so hopefully all three, maybe four people who read this will follow what I'm sayin a little better than my mother-in-law. Secondly, no idea where I got the name 'Twig,' but what Jiggerscout wants, Jiggerscout gets, so ask him. Speaking of Jig, I thought starting this thing off with a recap of the year's sporting events-both good and bad-was a great idea. I'll do a quick overview of my favs, but i'll keep it short since the two of us have a pretty like mind about sports, and I don't want it to seem to redundant. Here they are, in no particular order:
Sweet things about sports in 2007:
-Double Ball, Super Bowl Sunday, Spencer abode, McKinney Texas. If you don't know by now, you'll never know.
-Being lucky enough to be visiting my brother at Oklahoma Christian at the exact time the Big XII tourney was being played in OKC. We were heading back to the TX on Sunday, when we realized that UT was playing Kansas in the championship game that afternoon. I was able to convince my dad to scalp us some tickets after we said our goodbyes to my bro. Anywho, we scored some upper-deckers just before tip-off and proceeded to watch a great battle that went into OT. Unfortunately, the 'Horns fell by a couple of points, but it was a great game, with Kevin Durant going off for 37 in one of his last games as a Longhorn.
-Three of my discus kiddos placing in the 17-3A junior high district track meet. Had no idea what I was doing out there. Good times.
-Scoring a goal in the requisite soccer game out at Brandon's lake house during his bachelor party. That brings my career goals in soccer up to three. Once in youth league, once at ACU intramurals, and that one by the lake.
-Going to the UT-Tech football game in Austin last month with my parents and Kayla. She didn't exactly 'love it,' but it was a great atmosphere and the teams combined for 101 points.
-Spurs winning the NBA championship. Has anyone else realized that, if it weren't for Derek Fisher's miraculous shot with .4 seconds left in the 2004 playoffs, and Manu's idiotic foul of Dirk in the 2006 playoffs that this team could have potentially won five straight titles?
-Being at the game when Craig Biggio got his 3,000th hit. Special thanks to Garrett for inviting me and Kayla, and extra special thanks to Derek, Garrett's brother, and his girlfriend, for not going, so we could have the tickets.
Not Sweet Memories:
-Texas Rangers.
-The fumble game against the Seahawks. I was by myself in my apartment in Graham when it went down, and let me tell ya, that's about the lonliest feeling I've experienced as a sports fan. Not good times. Let's never talk about it again, alright?
-UT football. Yikes. I know, I know, "tons of teams would love to be 9-3 at the end of the year." Who cares? I'm tired of the choking in big games, losing crap-fest games to the aggs, and especially for all of the excuses after the games. With a few exceptions, the team underachieved this year, and something needs to change, even though I'm not sure it will. Note to Mack: Get rid of Greg Davis (the offensive coordinator. and I do mean "offensive") and most of the rest of the staff, start over with a new philosophy, and use your players to the best of their abilities.
-Leaving the Biggio game in the top of the 10th, well after number 3,000 was in the books, so we could beat the traffic. We did beat the traffic, but missed Carlos Lee's walk-off GRAND SLAM. Nice idea, G.
-I know this will ruffle a few feathers, but to an extent, the Boston Red Sox. They're still my second-favorite team, but really, how are they any different than the Yankees at this point? We used to hate the Yanks for buying championships, not developing talent, and just outbidding everyone else. Well, folks, the Sawks paid $50 million just to TALK to Dice-K, then proceeded to give him something like an 80 mill contract. Same can be said for a lot of their free agent signings-just pay them more than everyone else, and hope to beat the Yankees to the punch. For those who disagree, please respond and tell me how the Sox are any different than the Yanks nowdays. For the record, I'm still rooting for Boston when the two play.
-Mike Vick, Tom Donaghy, Mitchell Report, etc. Some things you can't escape.
All in all, a pretty entertaining year in sports, looking forward to 2008 already.
That'll be it for now, if anyone is reading I've got a little game for y'all before my next post . In college, Justin Scott and I played a little game where we would spout off Heisman trophy winners as far back as we could remember. I can get to about 1993 or so, but Scotty J can go all the way back to, like, 1974-dudes got the memory of an owl. Or is it elephant? I dunno. Anyway, without doing any research, post the winners as far back as you can remember. You'll have to be honest, it's no fun if you use the internet to cheat. I'll have a follow-up post tomorrow or friday, depending on the responses, and we'll see where we can go with that. Alright folks, you've been great, can't wait to see where this goes.
twig
Sweet things about sports in 2007:
-Double Ball, Super Bowl Sunday, Spencer abode, McKinney Texas. If you don't know by now, you'll never know.
-Being lucky enough to be visiting my brother at Oklahoma Christian at the exact time the Big XII tourney was being played in OKC. We were heading back to the TX on Sunday, when we realized that UT was playing Kansas in the championship game that afternoon. I was able to convince my dad to scalp us some tickets after we said our goodbyes to my bro. Anywho, we scored some upper-deckers just before tip-off and proceeded to watch a great battle that went into OT. Unfortunately, the 'Horns fell by a couple of points, but it was a great game, with Kevin Durant going off for 37 in one of his last games as a Longhorn.
-Three of my discus kiddos placing in the 17-3A junior high district track meet. Had no idea what I was doing out there. Good times.
-Scoring a goal in the requisite soccer game out at Brandon's lake house during his bachelor party. That brings my career goals in soccer up to three. Once in youth league, once at ACU intramurals, and that one by the lake.
-Going to the UT-Tech football game in Austin last month with my parents and Kayla. She didn't exactly 'love it,' but it was a great atmosphere and the teams combined for 101 points.
-Spurs winning the NBA championship. Has anyone else realized that, if it weren't for Derek Fisher's miraculous shot with .4 seconds left in the 2004 playoffs, and Manu's idiotic foul of Dirk in the 2006 playoffs that this team could have potentially won five straight titles?
-Being at the game when Craig Biggio got his 3,000th hit. Special thanks to Garrett for inviting me and Kayla, and extra special thanks to Derek, Garrett's brother, and his girlfriend, for not going, so we could have the tickets.
Not Sweet Memories:
-Texas Rangers.
-The fumble game against the Seahawks. I was by myself in my apartment in Graham when it went down, and let me tell ya, that's about the lonliest feeling I've experienced as a sports fan. Not good times. Let's never talk about it again, alright?
-UT football. Yikes. I know, I know, "tons of teams would love to be 9-3 at the end of the year." Who cares? I'm tired of the choking in big games, losing crap-fest games to the aggs, and especially for all of the excuses after the games. With a few exceptions, the team underachieved this year, and something needs to change, even though I'm not sure it will. Note to Mack: Get rid of Greg Davis (the offensive coordinator. and I do mean "offensive") and most of the rest of the staff, start over with a new philosophy, and use your players to the best of their abilities.
-Leaving the Biggio game in the top of the 10th, well after number 3,000 was in the books, so we could beat the traffic. We did beat the traffic, but missed Carlos Lee's walk-off GRAND SLAM. Nice idea, G.
-I know this will ruffle a few feathers, but to an extent, the Boston Red Sox. They're still my second-favorite team, but really, how are they any different than the Yankees at this point? We used to hate the Yanks for buying championships, not developing talent, and just outbidding everyone else. Well, folks, the Sawks paid $50 million just to TALK to Dice-K, then proceeded to give him something like an 80 mill contract. Same can be said for a lot of their free agent signings-just pay them more than everyone else, and hope to beat the Yankees to the punch. For those who disagree, please respond and tell me how the Sox are any different than the Yanks nowdays. For the record, I'm still rooting for Boston when the two play.
-Mike Vick, Tom Donaghy, Mitchell Report, etc. Some things you can't escape.
All in all, a pretty entertaining year in sports, looking forward to 2008 already.
That'll be it for now, if anyone is reading I've got a little game for y'all before my next post . In college, Justin Scott and I played a little game where we would spout off Heisman trophy winners as far back as we could remember. I can get to about 1993 or so, but Scotty J can go all the way back to, like, 1974-dudes got the memory of an owl. Or is it elephant? I dunno. Anyway, without doing any research, post the winners as far back as you can remember. You'll have to be honest, it's no fun if you use the internet to cheat. I'll have a follow-up post tomorrow or friday, depending on the responses, and we'll see where we can go with that. Alright folks, you've been great, can't wait to see where this goes.
twig
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Can you start with a summary: Yes.
There is a lot of pressure that goes into a first post. I have been thinking about it now for 20 maybe 30 minutes. Then it hit me. Being the end of the year, I thought it would be a good time to look back on the year point out a few things I loved about the last year, and maybe a few that I didn't like so much. So, can you start your sports empire with a summary, I'll tell you at the end of the article. First, my favs...
1. Dallas Cowboys current season: This is easily the most fun I've had being a Cowboys fan. I believe we are seeing a future HOFmer in my boy Tony, and if Skip Bayless calls him Romeo one more time, I wont do anything about it, but I still think that guy needs to shut up. (I might say hell later on in the blog, but its too early for this issue)
2. Barry Bonds indicment: I hate that one of the msot important records in sports history is held by a total fraud, tool, jerk, take your pick. I think he probably did take steriods, but even if he didn't, I think I might like him even less. Imagine a guy being innocent and still acting the total jerk he is.
3. Fantasy Football: This may be kinda lame for yall who have been playin for a decade, but this was the first year, me and my boys got a league, it was fantastic. I am 11-3, if your calling my fanhood into question.
4. USA vs. Guetamela: I got to go to the men's national team game against Guetamela this spring. It was by far the best sporting event I have ever attended, and it ended in a 0-0 draw. I one point I thought I might faint during a US scoring chance.
5. Great Texas Rangers tickets: Unfortuneatly, I was born in Texas, meaning my baseball team is one the worst in MLB history. The reason this makes the list is, this particular game, I was close enough to let the team know how I really felt about the last 8 years. One lady said, the reason we dont win is we didn't keep Gagne: holy crap.
My Diss
1. Dallas Mavericks loss to Golden State: For as much crap as I like to talk to my Spurs friends, that loss in the playoffs emptied my ammo bag for, I dont know, ever. I do like the Spurs, I know some of you dont know how that could be, but I will be honest, I love Texas more than a lot of my family so, if they can win anything, I will be backing them.
2. The Patriots: I hope they lose. I hope they lose to the Jets and Dolphins. If they lose to both, I'll do anything Twig says, seriously. I hate them. I just say Tom Brady in a Stetson commercial, and I wish that horse would have jumped in the car and stomped on that precious right throwing arm. I generally like Boston sports, but if Bill Bellycheck chokes on his own hoodie, theres one Cowboy fan who wont blink an eye. I love you Dungy.
3. The BSC: I dont want to beat a dead horse, but this system sucks. There are at least 8 teams that can claim a right to play for the championship, and two are, again, holy crap.
4. The Texas Rangers: They just signed Milton Bradley, which I believe he is better known for his board games, than baseball. Why has no one ever made that joke before?
5. Pink singing the Sunday Night Football Theme: Shesh, was Nickleback busy?
Well, what you see is what you get: one down, an empire to go.
1. Dallas Cowboys current season: This is easily the most fun I've had being a Cowboys fan. I believe we are seeing a future HOFmer in my boy Tony, and if Skip Bayless calls him Romeo one more time, I wont do anything about it, but I still think that guy needs to shut up. (I might say hell later on in the blog, but its too early for this issue)
2. Barry Bonds indicment: I hate that one of the msot important records in sports history is held by a total fraud, tool, jerk, take your pick. I think he probably did take steriods, but even if he didn't, I think I might like him even less. Imagine a guy being innocent and still acting the total jerk he is.
3. Fantasy Football: This may be kinda lame for yall who have been playin for a decade, but this was the first year, me and my boys got a league, it was fantastic. I am 11-3, if your calling my fanhood into question.
4. USA vs. Guetamela: I got to go to the men's national team game against Guetamela this spring. It was by far the best sporting event I have ever attended, and it ended in a 0-0 draw. I one point I thought I might faint during a US scoring chance.
5. Great Texas Rangers tickets: Unfortuneatly, I was born in Texas, meaning my baseball team is one the worst in MLB history. The reason this makes the list is, this particular game, I was close enough to let the team know how I really felt about the last 8 years. One lady said, the reason we dont win is we didn't keep Gagne: holy crap.
My Diss
1. Dallas Mavericks loss to Golden State: For as much crap as I like to talk to my Spurs friends, that loss in the playoffs emptied my ammo bag for, I dont know, ever. I do like the Spurs, I know some of you dont know how that could be, but I will be honest, I love Texas more than a lot of my family so, if they can win anything, I will be backing them.
2. The Patriots: I hope they lose. I hope they lose to the Jets and Dolphins. If they lose to both, I'll do anything Twig says, seriously. I hate them. I just say Tom Brady in a Stetson commercial, and I wish that horse would have jumped in the car and stomped on that precious right throwing arm. I generally like Boston sports, but if Bill Bellycheck chokes on his own hoodie, theres one Cowboy fan who wont blink an eye. I love you Dungy.
3. The BSC: I dont want to beat a dead horse, but this system sucks. There are at least 8 teams that can claim a right to play for the championship, and two are, again, holy crap.
4. The Texas Rangers: They just signed Milton Bradley, which I believe he is better known for his board games, than baseball. Why has no one ever made that joke before?
5. Pink singing the Sunday Night Football Theme: Shesh, was Nickleback busy?
Well, what you see is what you get: one down, an empire to go.
Welcome to The Jig and Twig
The world didn't know that when it woke up on Tuesday, December 11, there lives would be changed, but now they do. This blog will be devoted to all things good, bad, and worthy of praise in the sports world. ESPN has made several attempts to buy this blog along with its faithful, but everyman, or men, do not have a price. The main components of this blog will be myself, Jig, and faithful sidekick slash frontman, Twig. We will be honored to have a number of Ninja Scouts be write in corespondence and fill-ins. There is nothing outbounds and nothing we wont say, so please, kids, if your not 16, this blog may not be a good read for you. I believe that literature is best when it is raw, therefore, I rarely proofread or spellcheck, so further comments about either or those will be utterly ignored. Soon to come, the first post, so as Samuel L. Jackson said in Jurassic Park, "Hold on to your butts", cause things will never be the same.
-Jig
-Jig
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