If You Catch Me At The Border, I've Got Visas In My Name

Alright, so I'm probably the 10,068th person/website/blog to post this, but in case you haven't seen it on Deadspin, Slowly Going Bald, YouTube, or SI already, here it is...the Laughing Gas Kid:



"Is this real life?" Highest of 'high' comedy.

Finally, it seems as though JAT and Running Down A Dream favorite, Jeff Pearlman, has a few grievances he'd like to air, now that he's not employed by the World Wide Leader.

Horns and Panthers

I promised a few college basketball thoughts last time, so even though the Horns really let me down yesterday and I don't want to talk too much about it, here it goes:

• Uggghh. Fortunately for me, I was busy and missed all of the first half, and didn't tune in until there were nine minutes remaining in regulation, with Texas down 53-40. Needless to say, I was shocked at the deficit, since the Horns have been playing much better since the beatdown they got in Norman a few weeks ago. After falling down by as much as 17, UT fought back to tie the game late and go into overtime.


• At this point, I thought they had it. The Horns played the last five minutes of regulation with extremely high intensity and did almost everything right in their frantic run to close the gap, and I thought this would carry over to the extra session.


• Even though KState went up early, I thought UT had a shot until they missed the rebound with 11 seconds left after KState missed two free-throws. The Horns fouled the right guy, he predictably missed both freebies, but instead of getting the rebound and having the last possession down two points, Conner Atchley decided not to secure the ball, KState did, and subsequently made one of two free throws to essentially seal the game. While Texas did get the ball back, KState smartly fouled, (you listening, Calapari?) sending Dogus Balbay to the line where he made the first, but didn't hit rim on his intentional miss which gave the ball to the Cats, and that was pretty much all she wrote. In a game where Texas played so badly for the first 2/3 of the game, it's hard to blame on play or player for the loss, but missed free-throws in OT, not securing rebounds, and a killer three-pointer from KState (from about 30 feet with the shot clock running down, no less) won't win you close games.


• What's the deal with UT not being able to beat Kansas State? Two years in a row in football, and the past two times they've come to the Drum, the Cats have won. In fact, the last time the Horns lost there was Super Bowl weekend, 2007 to...you guessed it, the Kansas State Wildcats. Someone needs to shuffle the schedule a little bit.
  

Alright, now for the FNL recap of the week. As always, it was another great episode, with many future storylines developing. First of all, glad Smash decided to go to college-even if it is aTm-and not take the deal to become a store manager at Alamo Freeze. This actually could go under the 'unrealistic' list, if only because many people I know in his situation (former HS star, tons of scholarship offers, injury, loss of scholarship and being reduced to walking on) probably would have taken the job offer (hey, I got a company car!) and just went on with life. However, he did what will best suit him for the long-run, even if he isn't able to earn a scholarship, so that was nice to see for Smash.

I hate Team Buddy McCoy. Obviously, that's what the show wants from it's viewers, but let me tell ya, it's working. If Coach Taylor had punched out Buddy or Joe (is it Joe? I forgot) McCoy in the pool room, no one would have blamed him, and Coach is a better man than I am for walking away. I am looking forward to the where this storyline goes in the future, though. Will Coach stick with Saracen, even though he doesn't secure the ball on the goal-line on the game-winning play? Will he give in to the booster's demands to put in the freshman phenom? Will he flip the bird to the (extremely unreasonable) Dillon faithful and leave for another high school next year, or even follow one of his players-most likely Smash or Riggins-to college? I don't know the answer to any of these, but you can bet I'll stick around to find out.

A few quick things to hit on, and I'll be done. What happened to Street? He wasn't my favorite character, and his story line wasn't exactly 'neat' or 'fun to watch' even, but still, where'd he go? Did I miss something or what, because if I'm not mistaken, he was in most episodes last year, and even had a few that centered around him, but this year it's like he fell of the face of the earth. Also, fans of Dillon: y'all suck. What makes you think it's acceptable to put For Sale signs in the front yard of a coach who currently has a winning record (2-1, with two convincing wins and one last-second loss)? Is it because he won't play a 15 year old freshman at quarterback, even though he has a three-year starter who, lest we forget, won the state championship as a sophomore? Call me crazy, but I'm thinking Coach Taylor knows a little more about how to win football games than the entire Dillon population combined. Just saying, chill and let the Wonder Boy take over next year. Something tells me that won't happen; not on this show, not this season.

Eyes and Hearts Continued

Not surprisingly, Saturday's Friday Night Lights post was a success, generating interested comments and emails. So, in the spirit of FNL, here are continuing thoughts and comments from the show. As always, feel free to continue discussion in the comments section. I need all the diversion I can get from school.

An email from my dad:

Lance:

Great article on the show! Here's my most unrealistic script: The playoff game in the cow pasture!!! You betcha, this happens all the time in Texas High School football - the coaches always agree to it, and the players all go out in their spare time and build it, right?????

Great point, Dad. I considered putting this in the original post, but forgot about it. The Cow Pasture game has to be one of the biggest misses in the series. Yes, every male in America would love the chance to put on pads and play a pick-up game with their buddies in a muddy, rain-soaked field, but come on. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think this game was the state semifinals (maybe quarterfinals). We're supposed to believe that two teams played in a pasture that was turned into a 'football stadium' the week before the game? Not only that, but the stadium was put together by the players that competed in the game, when they should have been studying film and prepping for the state semis. In the real world, where most of us live, the Texas state semi-finals-and many other rounds for that matter-are played in little arenas you may have heard of before-Texas Stadium, Mammoth Reliant Stadium, DKR, Kyle Field, Floyd Casey, the Alamodome-not Farmer Joe's Cow Pasture outside Dillon, Texas. I am currently in a class that deals with sport facilities and what it takes to run a safe, effective, and legal, sporting event. I am by no means an expert in the area, but something tells me that a football stadium put up in less than a week by 16-18 year olds in a cow pasture may not pass pesky little things like 'codes,' 'laws,' and 'guidelines.' Call me crazy, I don't know.

After the last post, Joey left a comment about the soundtrack to FNL. The intro song is definitely a great one, so much so that I actually watch the opening credits, instead of fast-forwarding like I do every other show I DVR. I've always assumed that Explosions in the Sky did the intro song, as the did most (all?) of the soundtrack to the FNL movie. However, I read somewhere that the intro song to the TV show is not done by Explosions, even though it sounds very similar to them. I don't remember the name of the band that does the intro song, so I have no idea where to find it to download, but if anyone knows, Joseph and myself would appreciate it. While we're on the topic, the music is another fantastic thing about the show. It is always great, and plays an important part in the telling of the story. If anyone cares, I also think Lost and Scrubs do a great job of using music-however subtly-to enhance the story telling of their respective shows.

That'll be it for now, I'll post some thoughts this weekend about the next episode, as well as a few college basketball thoughts. In the meantime, go on over to Cafe Express and check out their line of Dillon Football gear. I'm still hoping to find the gray T-shirt Saracen had on from this past episode, that thing was cool. Until next time.....

Clear Eyes, Full Hearts

I just got finished watching the second episode of the third season of Friday Night Lights, and so far, this season is shaping up to be the best of the three, and that's saying a LOT. Season one was fantastic, as was the second half of season two (a little bit of a rough start, but it got corrected, so it's cool) but this season could very well top them both.

One of the many things I love about FNL is how realistic it is. Pretty much anyone who grew up in Texas or any small town in America, can relate to the goings-on of the characters in Dillon, Texas. I'm not the first to say this, but there isn't a more authentic TV couple than Eric and Tammy Taylor. While there are many 'main' characters, those two carry the show, and their interactions are the most sincere of any television husband and wife that I can remember.

However, as realistic as the show can be, as with any TV program, it can be a bit far-fetched and unreasonable from time to time.

I wish I started this list from the first episode because I'm sure I'll forget some key moments, but like Mark McGwire would say, I'm not here to talk about the past. So here we go, some of the more unrealistic moments in the two-plus seasons of Friday Night Lights:

• The VooDoo plot line always bugged me. We're really supposed to believe that after Hurricane Katrina displaced the VooDoo family, they just posted up in a hotel room as coaching staff after coaching staff came to bribe the family so they could receive his football services? And that the UIL was fine with it? (until, of course, he decided to be a Panther) And that, two seconds after leaving Dillon he went to another high school, led them to the state championship and no one batted an eye?


• All of Dillon's last-second victories. One, maybe two are realistic over the course of a season, but it seemed like the Panther's had 10 heart-stopping finishes. The one that really got me was when Dillon played in Smash's former hometown. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe the score was 6-2 with less than ten seconds remaining, and Dillon was pinned inside their own five. This time, instead of some crazy hail-mary, triple lateral finish, Dillon won with...get this...a counter play off left tackle. Seriously. What team, when down by four with ten seconds and ninety-something yards to go, gives it to the running back, basically up the middle? Of course Smash, who had been bottled up until that point, breaks a few tackles and scores as time expires. Un-likely. (Ed's note: the wild finishes and football scenes in general have been dramatically toned down in seasons two and three, so if that's what is keeping you from watching, don't-it gets better.)


• The thing that Landry does at the beginning of season two. I won't mention it for those who haven't seen it, but there was exactly zero reason to go down that road. Tons of bloggers and websites have torn this storyline to shreds already, but it bears repeating-totally stupid and unnecessary.


• Santiago. Great character, lots of potential story lines, but...where did he go? What happened to him? Did I miss something? But what really bugged me about the show's treatment of him was this: As a high school linebacker, why didn't his pants have pads, it's not like he's an NFL receiver, and why was his chin-stap upside down? Makes no sense to me, just a bad oversight by the producers/directors.


• This one is a bit nit-picky, but Coach Taylor wears his state championship ring to bed. Who does that?


• In what universe is every mom-or female over the age of 30-as attractive as they are in Dillon, TX? I know it's a TV show so they have to sex it up a little, but come on, it's getting ridiculous. I'm half-expecting Carmen Electra to guest star for a few episodes as Coach Taylor's mom.


• Speaking of good-looking mom's, what's the deal with Tammy's wardrobe? Again, it is a TV show, but what principal can get away with dressing like that? Oh yeah, one who leads a school who elects a student-body president who campaigns with her sister's stripper friends and makes speeches about getting laid at prom. Un-likely.


• Smash getting his scholly from TMU taken away because of one little dust-up at the movie theater. In the real world, big-time colleges sign guys with multiple arrests and pending court dates. A tussle at the movies would do nothing except raise Smash's profile in real life.


• Street and Riggins going to Mexico on a whim-with $10,000 cash. A funny episode, yes, but what varsity super-star gets away with going South of the border without telling anyone, drinks away the week, then gets back on the team shortly thereafter?


• Speaking of Riggins, how old are we supposed to believe he really is? In the first season, he's best friends with Street, who is a senior, and is getting ready to sign with a big university and go on to do great things in football. OK, fine, so Riggs must be a senior too, right? Well, apparently not, as he's back in season two, and goes on the aforementioned Mexico trip. Well, surely he's a senior then, no 16 year old would do that? Again, apparently not, as he shows up for season three, this time being a senior without question, as the show finally makes it known how old he is. This season isn't the one that bothers me, but going back to season one, he's supposed to be a sophomore back then? I'm just not buying it, what with him being best friends with the superstar senior QB, drinking his life away, hooking up with his older neighbor, being the envy of every girl at Dillon High, and generally doing things that many males in this country wait until they're, I don't know, 20 to do. However, props to the show's creators for not making him a senior in season one, because, outside of the Taylor's, he carries the show, has the most gripping story lines, and is the most relate able character. Without Riggins, FNL suffers tremendously, even if he is a sixth-year senior.

That's all I can think of now, I'll update the list as this season progresses, and as I remember past unlikeliness. If you're a fan of the show and can think of things I forgot, feel free to add them in the comments section, and I'll reward you with...recognition that you thought of something I left out. Deal? Great.

Also, LOST. Wow.

One More Day

Who knows what tomorrow is? Friday. Who knows what tomorrow night is? Friday Night. That's right, folks, only one more day until the season three premiere of Friday Night Lights on NBC. To keep you on the edge of your seat, here are a few links to hold you over.

Bill Simmons' interview with Peter Berg, director of FNL.

Entertainment Weekly's review of episode one from season three.

While I'm not a huge fan of the X-Men/Comic Book/Fantasy genre, I'm geeked about this movie. It doesn't have a lot to do with FNL, but if you look closely you'll see that Riggins is Gambit. Awesome.

Final Thoughts for College Football

Alright, so it's a little late, but some final thoughts on the Bowl Season, up to this point:

• I'm very, very glad Texas woke up and decided to play the second half Monday night. I was not looking forward to the 'I told you so, you buch of no good cry-babies' articles if the Horns lost to Ohio State.



• As for the Big XII, not a great showing overall from the upper-echilon. Lackluster performances from Texas and Mizzou, and losses by Okie State and Tech.



• How great was it to see Tech get it handed to them though? Seriously, they're nowhere near the same team when playing away from Lubbock.



• So remind me again why Oklahoma should be rewarded so much for beating Cincinatti? That was an impressive OOC victory for the Sooners? Really? Call me crazy, but at this point, UT's victory over Arkansas is considerably more impressive than OU's win over Cincy (Arkie beat LSU, who killed Ga Tech, who embarrassed UGA, etc) They suck.



• I was listening to Dan Wetzel, a Yahoo! Sports writer on Houston sports radio yesterday, and he had a great idea: instead of having BCS bowl games in cavernous, tired NFL stadiums that have no atmosphere, (see: Phoenix Stadium and Superdome, The) why not play them in college stadiums? Wetzel argued that the games should be played in one of the participants home stadiums, but that could give the home team an unfair advantage in what should be a neutral site game. Expanding on Wetzel's idea, I'd love to see BCS games be played at college stadiums of teams that aren't playing in a BCS game. Imagine how sweet the Fiesta Bowl would have been if the game took place at Neyland Stadium, or between the hedges in Athens, GA. Maybe I'm missing something obvious, but I think that would really give the BCS a much-needed boost in atmosphere and add some of the pagentry that makes college football so special in the first place.

That'll do it for now, just remeber kids: When Oklahoma wins, everyone loses.

Who Put Sour Grapes in The Bottle?

I realize that things have been pretty slow around here lately, but I promise a bowl recap soon, as well as a very belated best/worst of 2008 column in the near future.

In the meantime, here's a funny half-minute video of a kid's reaction to the ending of last night's Fiesta Bowl. Just a lovely child.








Also, what I'm reading now:

The Year of Living Biblically, by AJ Jacobs. I worried that this book, written by an agnostic Jew from New York, would be sarcastic and sacreligious, but it's an extremely honest, thoughtful look at religion from an outsiders view. I'm 100 pages in, and highly recommend it.