Come Off the Edge Ranger Fans

In an unprecedented move, JAT is running three articles posted in under fifteen hours of each other! This post comes courtesty Justin Scott. While not killing time on JAT, you should check his blog, Running Down a Dream, which is, quite frankly, the measuring stick to which other blogs desire to be. Take it away J:

Greetings, readers of the Jig and Twig!
Your other guest columnist, Sideshow Maenius, or as he referred to himself, Swig, has co-opted the "ig" suffix used by other authors on this here blog, but since I couldn't not come up with one better than "Sprig", I'm just going with my usual title.

With that said, I'm pleased to be here in the hallowed halls of the Jig and Twig. As I pondered what to write for my guest appearance, I was inspired by the patron saint of the Jig and Twig, Mr. Bill "The Sports Guy" Simmons. More precisely, I was listening to one of Simmons's podcasts ("The B.S. Report", which I highly recommend), and he mentioned the concept of ranking various fanbases on what he described as the "Mass Suicide Index". He did not go into great detail explaining the concept, but I was captivated by the idea so we're going to run with it. Presumably, sports fanbases in areas like Philadelphia, Cleveland, and Minnesota are closer to a recreation of Jonestown than those fans leading a charmed life in places like Boston, Boston, and oh yes, Boston.

I'm going to run through the DFW-area pro sports franchises since the majority of this blog's readership aligns itself with America's Team, the Rangers, and the Stars. I realize there is a bit of a divide over Mavs/Spurs loyalty, but I'm going to focus on the Mavs to discern the total "Mass Suicide Index" for the DFW sports fan at large. Also, just because those of you who know me well are aware that I could not possibly do an entire sports series without mentioning Liverpool F.C., I bringing the Reds into the mix due to the fact that Rangers and Stars owner Tom Hicks also owns the England franchise.

What's that?

You don't want to read about the commie-soccer ball-type game? Here's why it matters.

As far as I'm aware, the money trees are dormant this time of year and the amount of money that Hicks pours into Liverpool affects the Stars and the Rangers, just as an influx of cash to the Rangers would affect Liverpool. If you've just planted a nice new money tree that would prove the previous sentence false, I'm all ears. Until then, the butterfly flapping its wings in Liverpool may cause a tidal wave in the Metroplex. First up?

The Rangers.

Check back tomorrow, my friends.